decisions

So I think one of the things I miss most about my husband choosing to not be here.. is having that person to make decisions for our family. He was the head of this family. And he made decisions as such.. now I can see how most of his decisions were not based on the foundation that we are here on this planet to serve and love God... but still.. it was nice to not have to make all those decisions.

Like, should I spend money on this that or the other thing... should I pay off that credit card? Should I get a new credit card? These are all things we would have discussed.. and now I can't discuss it with him....

And with the business... he doesn't even hear me about the business... He has spent a lot of time in our relationship making me feel like I am worthless... like I can't have intelligent ideas about things. And he obviously still thinks those things.

Soooooo many people tell me to take the business away from him.... "Fire him." I get told, A LOT... but "that" business isn't really mine... it really is his. Why should I take it away from him? He built it.. he worked it.. Now do I think that there are things he could do better.. YES... Is he perfect? OBVIOUSLY not or he wouldn't be having an affair.... but still... that business was always his.

So.. I am trying to make decisions based Biblical principals and with the help of many godly men and women I know.... I hope that we can rebuild our lives on a solid foundation.