Adam is in a full out nursing strike. I am devastated and not handling it well.. each and every time he rejects me I cry. I can't help it. It hurts. It's like he doesn't want/need me anymore. I even took away his pacifier thinking well if he needs to suck he'll have to do it at the breast. But so far nothing. I feel like no one understands. No one sees how bad this hurts. Most people think it's just him telling me he's done nursing. And if that's the case, God please change my heart, stop me from having the desire to nurse. Please Lord I'm hurting and I need you. If he really is just hurting from his teeth then Please Lord comfort him, ease his pain.
My mom wants me to take her to get her hair cut tomorrow. And I just don't feel like driving an hour each way to pay to get her hair cut and dye her hair for her. My heart is breaking and no one can help me. I just have to deal with this. I can't even get relief from the engorgement b/c I can't pump enough out.
I'm going to go to bed now. Broken, defeated and sad. But at least God is there to comfort me and help me through.
2 comments:
Oh you poor thing! It's hard letting our babies grow up!
Oh sweetie...I'm sorry that you're finding this transition so difficult! When I quit nursing Elli, I went through a few weeks of severe depression and exhaustion...and I was glad to be done nursing! I think the hormones really mess with you, and the research I did said that it's the worst if the baby weans abruptly, not gradually. Throw in the hormones of being pregnant and the fact that you want to still be nursing, and wow, I can imagine that you're suffering. I'm sorry!
I know nothing will take away that pain, at least not immediately, but...try to set aside some time every day to do something special with Adam. It will help you feel that bond with him, still. And try to take it easy - you're body is going through a lot, with adjusting to being pregnant again and with the nursing slowing down! You'll need to give yourself some grace for awhile, and eventually it will get better!
Praying for you!
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