a post about me

Me me me me me... I very seldom anymore think about me. Even now... I am going to have $300 to spend on ANYTHING I want.. and what do I think about. Adam. Not me, Adam. This child doesn't go without at all, and yet I still think he needs more. I don't even own a pair of pants that have a zipper, or a shirt that isn't easy to nurse in. I haven't felt pretty in ages. I need to get myself some new clothes. I NEED it.. not WANT NEED!!!

So, Jim is forcing me to think about myself and buy things for me. I found some really cute pants at old navy that I can't wait to recieve. I am soo excited. They are trouser jeans. I have always wanted a pair. I am almost tempted to buy two pair but they only come in one color/shade so I thought that would be kind of odd.

Currently I am reading Beautiful in God's Eyes. It's about Proverb's 31 woman. I am praying and learning how to be more like her. I really do desire to be this woman. And sometimes when my husband is being cruel it's hard to desire to respect, love and honor him. When all you want to do is lash out and yell. Pray for me.

Another thing I am working on is eating properly and trying to get more activity in. I don't want to be this big anymore. I want to be smaller, healthier. I want to teach Adam the right way. Not the unhealthy way. It's hard. Especially on a budget. But I'm trying. A couple women (Megan, Andrea, and some ladies from BBC) are helping me. Trying to teach me. Teach me the right way to eat. Hopefully one year from now I will be saying I'm 100lbs thinner and then we can begin to TTC for #2.

I have never been happier than I am when I'm holding my son. Seeing him grow and learn. I love each and every day with him.